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In this new column, The People's Court judge Marilyn Milian tackles couples' toughest relationship problems. First trial on the docket: Can guys control the urge to ogle?

Couple case #1: "Help, I hate how my boyfriend checks out other women".

Plaintiff: Elise, 25
Your Honor, thank you for hearing our case. The problem I have with my boyfriend Dan is I hate it when he drools over every hot girl he sees—even if I'm standing right next to him! It's one thing to simply look. He's a guy, I expect him to look, and it's not like I don't check out other guys too. But the lengths he goes to catch a glimpse of someone in a skirt is embarrassing! Sometimes he'll nudge me and say, "Did you see her? She's hot!" It drives me nuts.

Defendant: Dan, 31
Your Honor, please hear me out: There are beautiful girls everywhere. How can I not look? It's not a reflection of how I feel about Elise. The reason I make it obvious is that I don't like hiding things from her; this way, it's out in the open. I think that's better than being caught sneaking a peek. Not to mention, I enjoy hearing her seething comments about why I have no taste in women. It's always hilarious. Do I provoke her? Yes. Do I do it because I truly want to have sex with them? No, of course not. I'm just looking, not touching—what's wrong with that?

Judge Marilyn weighs in:
Men can't "help" but look? What a crock of crap. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with appreciating beauty when it walks by. Women look too. I look. But gawking, craning your neck, and making a federal case out of it? Don't blame that on your y-chromosome. There's nothing different in a guy's makeup that makes him a caveman who can't control himself. That's just an excuse, and I'm not buying it.

What's really going on here is that Dan doesn't control it on purpose. Why? Because by getting her jealous, he reaffirms in his mind that he's still worth fighting for. But that doesn't make it right. If I were Elise, this lack of respect for her feelings is what I'd be worried about—not whether he wants to sleep with every girl that walks by.

The verdict:
I rule in favor of the plaintiff. Evidence clearly shows that she has grounds for concern. My advice for Elise: Think about whether you're doing something that could be making Dan feel insecure. Maybe you have a job where you get a lot of male attention. Or maybe it has nothing to do with you, and it's just some baggage from Dan's past. But either way, you have a right to not have your buttons pushed in a relationship.

My advice for Dan: Try to figure out why you need to upset Elise in order to feel loved. It's one thing to look at a girl, something else to gawk, another thing still to elbow your girlfriend and say, "Get a load of that." Take my husband, for instance: If a beautiful woman walks by, my husband doesn't avert his gaze like she's some freak in a circus. My husband will look, but he'll look at her the same way he looks at someone else who's walking by; his neck won't turn and keep following her. And the reason is because he has respect for me. And I do the same for him. Everyone in a relationship deserves that much—whether or not they're sneaking a peak. Case adjourned.

In 2001, Judge Marilyn Milian became the first female judge to preside over The People's Court (peoplescourt.com), the original court TV program now in its 20th year. She lives in Miami with her husband and three daughters.